Hurt

I'm always hurting someone. It's like I can't even turn around without doing it. It's never on purpose. But it always happens. Sometimes I see it coming, but there's nothing I can do to avoid it. Sometimes, maybe there is something I can do to avoid it but at the cost of what? My own happiness? Ugh, I sound completely self-absorbed and selfish. Looking back, I know I should have handled things differently. People say, "Oh you're young. You make mistakes. You'll bounce back. Just say you're sorry." But what if that person doesn't want to hear 'sorry?' What if that person is angry and hurt and has every right to be? Fact of the matter is, I'm young and stupid. Things like time and distance are difficult for me. I'm scared. It's so hard for me to trust thanks to people who have hurt me beyond repair. Therefore, I end up trusting the wrong ones and getting myself hurt, then not trusting the right ones and hurting them. And there is no excuse. I'm the one to blame. It's like I can never get anything right. I feel like my life is just one big mistake, and trust me, I have every reason in the world to feel that way. You may call it overreacting and wallowing in pity like a typical teenage girl, but I call it continuously screwing up until it becomes a pattern. I thought I'd done something right for once. But I thought wrong. Shocker there.