Lack of Muse

So I know that I haven't been keeping up with blogging like I should. But when the level of exhaustion kicks in, my ability to reflect on all things deeper is seriously lacking. Therefore, I haven't exactly had anything to post lately. What do you do when you temporarily lose your desire to do anything but survive and sleep? That has basically been the cycle of my life lately. Survive, sleep, repeat. Not fun, but rather necessary for the time being.

Whoops

So I got busy and never did get around to my fifth self revelation. But hey, better late than never, right?

I've been exhausted lately. I feel like I'm busy all of the time, and while the business is good because it prevents my thoughts from getting the best of me, it can also be bad, because I feel kind of burnt out. It's quite a dilemma. In part, this is not only because I'm burnt out, but because I know that I have no space in my life to add anything else. And at the risk of making some of my good friends very upset, sometimes I just need to do things for my well-being. And I hope that is understood.

Self-Revelation #4

I am addicted to Dr. Pepper.

Ah, sad but true. I don't even necessarily have one every day, but you best believe that I do everything in my power so that I do. It's just my weakness and I'm not afraid to admit it. I know it's bad for you, but hey, at least I'm not a chain smoker, right? Or a raging alcoholic, drug addict, etc. And I know you also shouldn't make excuses, and I'm not. I'm just saying that it could be worse and I could be drinking like five a day.

Alright, so not my deepest self-revelation, but not everything in life has to be deep, right?

Self-Revelation #3

I Have horrible road rage.

I mean pretty much every time I drive, there's always some idiot cutting me off, going too slow, or generally just doing something obnoxious. And I am always ready to get on their case. I mean normally in life, I'm willing to extend grace to someone for making a mistake, especially if it's unintentional. But not on the road. I just have no patience whatsoever for people doing stupid stuff. Any ideas as to why this is?

Self-Revelation #2

My life has done a 180 in the past six months.

I still look in amazement at who I am now compared to the person I was from about three years ago up until about six months ago. Compared to the mess I was back then, I've got it together now (Which I know I don't. Just in comparison). Going from a girl who had no hopes of beating out the depression, anorexia, and many other problems, to a girl who recognizes that the problems are there, but can beat them and is in the process of doing so is amazing. It's like when your parents, teacher, etc tells you that you really can achieve anything, yet you don't believe them until you actually achieve something you thought was impossible. You feel on top of the world.

So my parting thought for today is actually a quote: "Something is only impossible until it's not."

Self Revelation #1

So this week, since I'm taking the week off of Facebook, I'm going to do a daily self revelation throughout the duration of the week.

Day one: I have a tendency to be an over-achiever. I mean, I make my self a daily agenda of what homework needs to be done, have a chart for something in my room that needs to be cleaned every day of the week, and can pretty much get nothing done unless it is perfectly organized. I guess that means I'm a bit of a perfectionist as well. I never want to settle for average. So my reflection/question from today's revelation is: Is this something that is good, bad, or a little of both?

Choices

There are so many choices in this life. An infinity of directions in which you may choose to pursue. And just one choice can change the path of your life completely. The people you meet. The job you have. Basically, your future. Your life. No pressure there or anything.

So am I crazy to think I may actually be figuring it out? Because if there's one thing I've learned to be a constant in life it's this: Things will never go as planned. Plans will change. People change. Life changes. In the blink of an eye. And that is one of the few things (I could probably count on one hand, it's that low of a number) that truly scares me in this world.

Do I dare plan? Do I dare dream?